My View from the Top of the World

Some of my blog entries I plan for days, or even weeks.  Sometimes, I have no idea what I'm going to write until moments before I sit down and get started.  That was today... but, the word, "grace," has been echoing around in my brain since we sent our students home from school on March 13th.  Being quarantined - in lock down - sheltered in place - with the same people, for weeks on end is hard, no matter how much you love those people. Jimmy and I have been married for almost 27 years, we work together, AND we spend every summer at home together. We get along great, and still, I really, really just want him to go to camp, already!   We take for granted the ability to get away, to take a breather, or to momentarily escape someone else's, perhaps, occasionally, maybe, teeny, tiny annoying habits and behaviors. Equally difficult, if not more so, is being quarantined alone. Even for someone who enjoys their own company and appreciates the freedom of living alone, si...

I have never really accepted the old adage; "everything happens for a reason."  No, I'm not there.  There's an acceptable reason that our friend died from a heart attack, leaving his teenage daughter lost and grieving for years? A reason that a beautiful family was torn apart by an accidental yet catastrophic house fire?  A rational explanation why certain people are afflicted by cancer, Alzheimer's disease, and now, COVID-19?  Almost 22 years ago, my friend's beautiful and talented daughter was killed in a car accident before she really had the chance to begin her life's journey.  That was the day I stopped asking, "why?"  That was the day I stopped believing that things happen for a reason, because, for me, there was no acceptable answer, no possible reason to justify such a thing happening.  I do, however, believe that we can be determined to find purpose in all of life's experiences.  How is this different?  Well, I think that ...

On my worst days, in the midst of my grief or anxiety, I might spend hours scrolling through inspirational quotes, photographs & memes.  I literally have a stockpile of quotes in my Googlephotos. Later on, when I started using photography as a mindfulness technique, I would spend that scrolling time editing my own pics, to create my own inspiration.  When I was a child, my dad used to quote Winston Churchill.  The quotes he typically referenced were far from inspirational - Old Winnie was something of a scoundrel, and my father found some of his quips rather hilarious.  The two quotes that my dad preferred, and that made him chuckle raucously, are not fit for this blog... suffice it to say, however, that they became established as frequently used inside jokes for our family over the years. And, yes, my pup, Winnie, is named for Churchill, and puppy is just about as mouthy and sassy as Winston Churchill himself.  Churchill, as you may well know, wa...

So.  We are now submerged in the reality that is quarantine.  I wonder if any of us really believed that we would be here, or imagined how it would feel to be confined to our homes with only the internet and Netflix for company? (Thank GOODNESS for the internet!!!) Well, I don't know about you, but my daughter and I are finding that we are heading for the snacks a lot.  Is it stress eating? Are you looking for comfort foods?  Reaching for the bottle of wine to be able to relax at night?  I definitely don't want to be dealing with having to lose the quarantine fifteen in a couple of months, but there's more to it than that. The longer we stay home, isolated from our people, the more our mental health is going to suffer.  The more news that we watch, the more the numbers go up, the closer that COVID-19 gets to home, the more our mental health is going to suffer.  While I can't say that I'm actively freaking out about Coronavirus and our quaran...