What is "Normal," Anyway?

 

Last week, I ended with the above quote: Don't reach for normal, reach for better. Let's talk about that.  

We all want normal back, right?  That's why there are so many strong feelings about reopening our businesses, schools, towns and cities after several months of "quarantine."  Our activities, indeed, our daily lives, have been restricted for long enough that we are edgy, anxious, depressed, and angry. We are desperate to get our lives back, to be able to get back to work and school, to travel, go to concerts and movies, and to visit friends and family.  

The problem is, that although we are ready to get back to normal, this virus is just not.  In this instance, the virus is in control.  This situation disallows normalcy.  In fact, I do wonder whether things will ever go back to the normal that we knew.  I think that this is the root of all the chaos and division that we are experiencing as a community.  

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We want to get back to work... but there are new risks, budget cuts, and new requirements.  We don't know whether to push through or look for something else.  We want work to go back to normal.

We want to get back to restaurants, gyms, movie theaters, and libraries... but there are new risks, new restrictions and new rules that we do not like.  We argue, and we refuse to comply with the new rules.  We want our recreation to go back to normal. 

We want our kids to get back to school.  Again, there are new restrictions, new methods, new policies, new risks. We are angry, and we fight the changes, because our kids need normal school.

We are fighting for a normal that cannot exist yet. Chaos. 

Listen, we can't go back to normal right now, because things aren't normal. All you have to do is watch the news at night to see that chaos is erupting when we attempt to go back to how things were before COVID.  If we want some semblance of normalcy we have to be willing to adapt to the situation as it is. It's sort of like accepting your loved ones just as they are. Honestly, this is nothing new.  Humans have been adapting to new environments and circumstances for hundreds of thousands of years.  Why have we done it?  To survive.  

What if this virus isn't going away until it teaches us what we need to know?  I will tell you with conviction that this has been the case for every adversity that I have faced, and sometimes I have been a painfully slow learner.  So, what is it that we might need to know?  I think the answer is going to be different for everyone, and I'll leave you to ponder those answers for yourself.  I do believe, though, with all my heart, that this is the moment that we are - collectively - supposed to reach for better instead of normal.  

Finally, another thought to ponder... how many of us have read the comments on social media, only to be sorely disappointed in someone we liked, loved, respected?  You've heard it said that hardship builds character.  I'd tweak that a little and suggest that going through difficult times reveals character.  If you've learned something new about someone during this pandemic, then you understand what I'm suggesting. 

Are you willing to meet our situation where it is, to stop fighting, to compromise, or possibly sacrifice for the greater good, and reduce the chaos?

 

Are you willing to learn what you need to know, so that our situation is able to be improved?

Are you willing to reach for better, instead of reaching back to "normal'?

No doubt, this is tough stuff.  This is unquestionably the most difficult and trying time that many of us have faced.  Just a reminder to meet yourself, right where you are, with love and kindness... and take care of you. 💖