My View from the Top of the World

As 2020 dawned, I noticed a trend on social media.  Rather than disclosing their new year resolutions, folks were sharing their "intention words," or a chosen theme for the year.  I tried, but the only thing that I could muster up was "cozy."  I've also been somewhat obsessed with cozy things:  sitting under my blanket on the couch in front of the fireplace; squishy, fuzzy pillows; hot coffee before a cold run; hot coffee after a cold run; wearing only soft, fleecy things while at home, and trying my darndest to get away with it in public, also. It makes sense, when you think about it.    When I was a child, I had two pet tortoises, Fred, and Freda.  They lived outside in a pen, and as winter approached, we had to box them up for hibernation (now that I'm writing this, I'm not sure that any of this was ok, but this was the 70's and we know better now.)  As young as I was, I started to think that hibenation seemed like a pretty good dea...

A couple of years back, my mother apologized to me for being so high maintenance.  It's true, she can be a lot of work!  I remember saying to her, "That's OK, you raised me all those years, now I get to raise you."  Notice the vocab choice, there; I don't have to, I GET to. All families joke about it, you know, who's going to take care of Mom when she's old and infirm.  Yeah, we joke about it, but we never really think it's going to happen because our parents are invincible.  Turns out they're not.  Psychologists call us the "sandwich generation."  I call us "tweeners."  We're still smack in the middle of raising kids, and now our parents are needing care, too.  I'm not gonna lie:  being a tweener is tough.  It's stressful, exhausting, sad...  Some time after my dad died, I realized that when I lost him, I lost them both.  And, I lost being someone's kid.  I really had to grieve that loss before I could accep...

In preparation for writing this, I looked up the lyrics to Brad Paisley's "Letter to Me," and just a few of those lines had me quickly choked up and teary - eyed.  I'm totally a sucker for a good heartstring-pulling song lyric... If you could have a good, long, heart - to - heart with your younger self, what would you tell you? Two of my kids are in their twenties now, and I find myself having to (try to) refrain from constantly momsplaining all the things.  Not easy for me to refrain, and, ask them, they would probably tell you that I don't.  Anyway, I got to thinking about this song and about what I might say to a younger me.  Indulge me, won't you? We've all experienced hardship, unfortunately, some experience more bad times than others do.  It's true what your mama always said, "life's not fair." When we're in the middle of adversity, it's easy to become convinced that we are cursed, that this is *just my luck* or *just ...

I turned forty in 2007, and declared that my 40's would be "The Decade of Me." By this, I meant that I was determined to spend more time pursuing my own life, and wean myself from devoting all the minutes to the needs and requirements of others.  There were some who might have been a tad judgy over this announcement, you know, thought I was being selfish.  After all, I was a mom!  That's more important than anything, right?!  Fortunately, however, my family wasn't judgy at all.  They all indulged my developing need for autonomy, went along with it, supported it, even encouraged it.  That's important.  I loved being in my forties!  My kids weren't babies anymore, so they were less dependent on me for everything . I was still young enough to feel young. I was less exhausted, and felt more capable in all areas of my life.  I hit the ground running (literally) with distance running, and developed friendships and interests outside of being a...

Over the course of the last week, I've been seeing this meme a whole lot on social media, and I've been thinking a whole lot about it, too... I totally love this because it's all true stuff, and it seems to be the trend in considering New Year Resolutions.  I mean, let's face it, making a resolution just because "that's what we do," is really an ideal opportunity to set ourselves up for failure.  And then, what happens?  We end up feeling like a failure and like the old, regular *me* is just a loser and a failure who can't even stick to a lousy little resolution.  So instead, let's celebrate ourselves and what we have achieved and overcome so far, not just in the last year or the last decade, but throughout our lives! That's no small thing!     You've heard it said that you can't truly love someone unless you truly love yourself first.  Psychology 101, and I know that Fred Rogers said it, too, so there's a good amount of...