My View from the Top of the World

I remember when my Mum used to call her Mum on the phone - it happened about once a week.  Mum would hand the phone over to me to talk, and she'd whisper, "just don't ask her how she is!"  Her point was, if you asked Nana how she was, she wouldn't hold anything back. You'd hear about every ache, every pain, every grey cloud, every raindrop... every possible complaint. My mother couldn't stand negativity.  Indeed, she always encouraged me to "be like Pollyanna" when I was facing trials of my own.   . This week, I've been discussing the meaning of happiness with some of our younger students.  I ask them to imagine themselves in the future, living a happy life.  What do they imagine? "Playing video games whenever I want." "Being a logger." "Having a nice house." "Being a race car driver." "Having children." "Living in the woods." "Playing baseball." ...

If you know me, even a little bit, you know how much I love my furbabies.  It's been suggested - and I believe it - that pet owners share more pictures of their pets on social media than they do of their spouses (perhaps even their children...)  Well, the DATA is in!  Pets are good for us!  In short, having a pet at our home is good for our physical, emotional, and spiritual well being. About a year ago, when my mum was having some difficulties with living alone, my daughter suggested she get a cat.  Mum wasn't especially sure she wanted a cat.  In fact, she didn't have confidence that she would be able to take care of an animal.  Nevertheless, she (my daughter) persisted.  On a visit to Virginia last January, we dragged Mum out to the local shelter to find a companion.  With only three kitties ready for adoption, we selected the healthiest and most social, a very beautiful, grey female, who was given the name, Reecie, after Mum's affin...

There are a couple of those days on the calendar that conjure up tremendous  expectations  in our imaginations, in anticipation of the perfect celebration. One of those occasions is New Year's Eve - which I basically gave up on when the babies arrived.  Another is Valentine's Day.  Who among us hasn't spent a Valentine's Day feeling sad, lonely, dejected, or disappointed?  We create images of spending Valentine's Day with the perfect partner, going on the perfect, romantic date, and receiving the perfect, romantic gift.  If we don't have a person, the whole day may just feel like a fail, anyway, and we end up dreading its arrival.  If we do have a person, and the day still doesn't meet or exceed our expectations... that can feel even worse. Look, there is nothing greater in life to celebrate, than love.  In my mind, love is the be all and end all. The problem, is that we insist on putting this commercial, romantic spin on the purest of em...

Not to be mean, but... I don't mean to be rude, but... I love you , but...  To me, these "clarifiers" are like fingernails on a blackboard. This type of clarification is a manipulative behavior that is an attempt to make people believe that you are not mean, rude, or unloving, when, in fact, you are giving ample warning that that is exactly what you are about to be: Not to be mean, but...(I'm about to be mean.) I don't mean to be rude, but...(I'm about to be rude.) I love you, but...(I'm about to say something unloving.)  It's gaslighting, albeit a mild form of gaslighting (if there is such a thing). It's not ok.  Love is such a vital component to our overall health and well being that we can't afford to cheapen it in any way. We have a responsibility to protect and nurture love.  Love plays no part in hurting people, demeaning them, or causing them to feel humiliated or worthless. Genuine love is precious, sweet, and kind. Love is ...

Yesterday, in the UK, it was "Time to Talk" Day.  This is an awareness day, sponsored by an organization called "Time to Change," whose mission is to change the stigma of mental illness.  This is a cause that is very dear to me, not just because I've spent more than 30 years of my life studying and working in the mental health field, but because of my own journey.  According to stats, The US is currently in the middle of a mental health crisis.  Almost 50% of American adults will deal with a mental health diagnosis at some point in their lifetime.  Of those, only 41% will seek and recieve treatment.  Why?  Because we're afraid of being judged by others.  It's as simple as that.  We don't want people to think we're crazy.  The problem with that is that nothing is going to get better if we don't deal with it.  It's like not going to the doctor to treat an infection because you don't want people to think you're sick.  So, ...