Building the Happiness Muscle

I remember when my Mum used to call her Mum on the phone - it happened about once a week.  Mum would hand the phone over to me to talk, and she'd whisper, "just don't ask her how she is!"  Her point was, if you asked Nana how she was, she wouldn't hold anything back. You'd hear about every ache, every pain, every grey cloud, every raindrop... every possible complaint. My mother couldn't stand negativity.  Indeed, she always encouraged me to "be like Pollyanna" when I was facing trials of my own.  

.

This week, I've been discussing the meaning of happiness with some of our younger students.  I ask them to imagine themselves in the future, living a happy life.  What do they imagine?

"Playing video games whenever I want."

"Being a logger."

"Having a nice house."

"Being a race car driver."

"Having children."

"Living in the woods."

"Playing baseball."

Their dreams aren't lofty.  In fact, to me they seem refreshingly simple:  A nice place to live, a family,  and having time to do the things that I love to do.  

I then move on to explain to these little ones the concept of gratitude, and how studies have shown that developing a habit of gratitude actually turns us into happier people.  I start by asking them; "what do I need to do if I want to build my muscles and get nice and strong?

"Go to the gym."

"Work out"

"Is it enough for me to go to the gym and work out once or twice a month if I want nice strong muscles?"

"No!  You have to go a lot!"

"How often do I need to work out if I want to get big and strong?"

"All the time, like every day!"

"And can I go in to the gym and just lift the weight one time, and then I'm done?"

"No! You have to keep doing it! Over and over!"

Aha, so they get it!

I explain to them that taking some time each day to focus on what we are grateful for can actually rewire our brains to think more positively about life!  We can actually train our brain just like we can train our muscles! We can literally train ourselves to be happier. I then have them complete a little Gratitude Journal and have them write about their blessings:  Things about my day; Things about me; Things about my home or school.  Again, I'm struck by the beautiful simplicity of their thoughts:

"I got to watch TV."

"Music class was fun today."

"I'm a good dancer."

"I sat with my friend at lunch."

"I love my teacher."

"I am kind."

"We had gym."

"I love being with my family."

Yes, yes, they truly get it.  

Real quick, for the adults in the room...

Practicing Gratitude is proven (again, it's science!) to be beneficial to our health and wellness.  Finding happiness can be a goal that we plan for, work on, and achieve.  It does not have to be a random result of life events.

Implementing a daily gratitude practice:

Improves physical and mental health and well being

Speeds up recovery time after injury or illness

Improves the quality of human relationships

Improves professional productivity and job performance

Helps to build resilience and fortifies coping skills

Improves overall life satisfaction

That's not to say that everything is always going to come up roses, because that's not reality.  Life comes at us.  It's hard.  Like, it's really hard.  That doesn't mean that we can't still be grateful.  What's true about hard times is that we tend to emerge stronger, and with lessons learned. It's also true that building a foundation of gratitude helps us to maneuver through those difficult times more successfully.  Even our gym workouts aren't always fun or easy, but we know when we come out of the gym feeling wrecked, we're going to see results! 

I challenge you to give it a try.  Try taking a few minutes each night to jot down or write about 3-5 things that you are grateful for.  It doesn't have to be a huge time commitment, just a minute or two to reflect.  I can tell you from personal experience that practicing gratitude truly does promote an overall positive attitude.  Think of it as one more kind thing that you can do for yourself.  

  

You can't pour from an empty cup.  Take care of you.  💖