My View from the Top of the World

  Last week, I ended with the above quote: Don't reach for normal, reach for better. Let's talk about that.   We all want normal back, right?  That's why there are so many strong feelings about reopening our businesses, schools, towns and cities after several months of "quarantine."  Our activities, indeed, our daily lives, have been restricted for long enough that we are edgy, anxious, depressed, and angry. We are desperate to get our lives back, to be able to get back to work and school, to travel, go to concerts and movies, and to visit friends and family.   The problem is, that although we are ready to get back to normal, this virus is just not.  In this instance, the virus is in control.  This situation disallows normalcy.  In fact, I do wonder whether things will ever go back to the normal that we knew.  I think that this is the root of all the chaos and division that we are experiencing as a community.   , We want ...

Since the early 1900's, the phrase, "the black dog," first used by Victorian nannies to refer to their "dark moods," has been a well known metaphor for depression.  Indeed, this image of a large, dark, growling, ever-present companion seems to me, to be a rather accurate metaphor.   Michele Obama turned some heads this week, as she mentioned in her podcast that she believed she was suffering from a "low grade depression." The cause of this, she believes, is the extended quarantine, along with the constant barrage of negative news, racial and civil unrest, and politics overload.  Who can't relate?? When I say she turned heads, what I mean is, she turned my  head. She made me sit up and pay attention, and yes, I had to engage in some introspection.  This involved a little more self-examination than I have been used to doing lately. You know, when things are going along fairly smoothly, you can get a little loosey-goosey with your mental health and se...

As we draw to the close of Pride Month, it occurs to me that this year, given all of the other serious issues that our country is facing, we have not been able to give Pride its due.  However, I have things to say, and although everything that I have to say may not fit together perfectly, I'm just going to let it flow, because this momma positively bursts with Pride.   I'm unapologetically proud of my family, of my kids.  Not proud of their accomplishments, necessarily, that's their pride to feel, but proud of their character.  When my daughter came out to me, I was disappointed in my own reaction, because I was annoyed.  Looking back, I realize that I wasn't annoyed about her LGBTQ status, I was annoyed with  how  she shared the information:  her intent and timing weren't ideal as we were in a dispute over something else at the time.  Nevertheless, we made it through that moment with our relationship in tact, and then we were able to mo...

Today is the last day of school.  Right now I'm on my back porch, wearing shorts and drinking coffee, writing to all of you.  It"s beautifully sunny, and there's a cool breeze blowing away the humidity (and blowing pollen all over my screens.) It's a delightful way to start the day, but it's not how we wanted the last day of school to be.  We wanted a building full of excited kids.  We wanted to be able to say and hug our goodbyes.  We wanted to wave them out of the front doors and on to the buses, the same way we greeted them on the first day. As it is with many situations in life, this one is a double edged sword.   Exactly eleven weeks ago, we were told at 3pm on a Friday that school would be closed for two weeks.  It felt surreal then, and eleven weeks later, that feeling has not changed.  My friends, coworkers, and my daughter's teachers turned their lives upside down to figure out how to teach children from home, while ensuring the heal...

No doubt about it, quarantine is affecting our health.  There is so much to consider in such a discussion that it is impossible to wrap our heads around everything.  I wouldn't even want to try.  However, over the course of the last two months, I have definitely noticed some... shall we say, symptoms,  that simply must be quarantine related.  I mean, I'm not always such a mess.  Am I? I'll try to explain.   Quarantine Related Fatigue Syndrome Ex. Aw. Sted.  All the time.  Tired, aaallll the time, every single day.  Definitely tired in the morning, but come the end of the day, I got nothin'.  Yes, I get up way too early, but, honestly, you wouldn't look at my daily routine and think, "gosh, she's gotta be beat by the end of the day!" But I am.  And I know you all are too.  The thing is, you may think that the "slower pace" of quarantine - no social events, no extra-curricular activities, no mom-taxi driving, no salon a...

You get all the creds , if you are currently working and momming at home with quarantined kids who are distance learning.  Give yourself an extra hug if you are co-existing with any number of little humans under the age of 13. I mean, I'm exhausted at the end of every day, and I'm not feeding babies or helping elementary kids with school work.  This. Is. Hard.  The "invisible load" for mothers, on a normal day, is significant.  Invisible load, is that which is carried that nobody sees...  We all understand all the visible work that mothers do; physical care of the family, meal preparation, housekeeping, budgeting, educational support, transportation.  It's hard work and takes its toll, but it's that invisible load  that creates additional stress and often goes unnoticed and unsupported; managing kids' emotional needs, managing calendars and schedules, overseeing school progress, awareness and monitoring of multiple kids' events, appointments, and soci...

Yesterday, I let it get to me... ~Seven weeks of stay-at-home... ~Seven weeks of wearing only pajamas and sweatpants... ~Several days (weeks??) of cold, grey rain... ~News of a young life taken too soon... ~The winding, strenuous pathways of life that my own kids are traveling... ~Weeks turning in to months, and still so much uncertainty... By the day's end, I was exhausted, sad, impatient, not at all pleasant to spend time with.  When I woke this morning, I wasn't feeling any more positive.  Thirty minutes of quiet, coffee time helped a little.  Seven miles with my faithful running crew ~ human and canine ~ helped a little more, but a long day still loomed ahead. After getting the dogs home, I decided to go back out for a couple more miles.  I put in my earphones and changed my Pandora station from Sting to Elton John.  The first song to play was "Tiny Dancer," a song that is special to both my daughter and me. Despite being out in public in the...