Quarantined-Work-From-Home-Moms... The Real MVPs!

You get all the creds, if you are currently working and momming at home with quarantined kids who are distance learning.  Give yourself an extra hug if you are co-existing with any number of little humans under the age of 13. I mean, I'm exhausted at the end of every day, and I'm not feeding babies or helping elementary kids with school work.  This. Is. Hard. 

The "invisible load" for mothers, on a normal day, is significant.  Invisible load, is that which is carried that nobody sees...  We all understand all the visible work that mothers do; physical care of the family, meal preparation, housekeeping, budgeting, educational support, transportation.  It's hard work and takes its toll, but it's that invisible load that creates additional stress and often goes unnoticed and unsupported; managing kids' emotional needs, managing calendars and schedules, overseeing school progress, awareness and monitoring of multiple kids' events, appointments, and social lives.  It can seem insurmountable, particularly so when the kids are younger and dependent on mom for everything.

Then, add stay-at-home orders, working from home, and learning from home. Everyone is home now, all trying to do what they have to do. Mom is being a mom, a professional, and a teacher all at the same time. The invisible load of quarantine leaves moms feeling more burdened, more stressed, more exhausted, and less supported: Awareness and support of children's emotional needs and quarantine stress; managing distance teaching and learning; balancing priorities between kids, school, work and self; maintaining focus on work; trying to take breaks that are not breaks because they are filled with mom duties; managing kid behaviors while trying to complete work or participate in meetings; no specified work hours...

Then... some well meaning friend or family member says, "don't forget to take care of yourself!" We know we should. We know we would feel better about just about everything. We know it would help us to help everyone else, but, who has time for self care right now??? Unfortunately, there's no easy answer, no quick trick to figuring all of this out. We were all thrown in to this situation without warning, and without prep time.  We are all winging it, all doing the best we can with what we have. Just know you are not alone, and give yourself all the credit in the world for giving it your best shot. Some days self care might be taking a walk in the sunshine (what sunshine?), taking a bath, reading a little, or spritzing a little lavender oil on your pillow at bed time.  Sometimes self care might be forgiving yourself for losing your cool during school work time.

I've never subscribed too much to "hallmark holidays."  I've never worried about being recognized on Mothers' Day, although, I do try to give my own mother a decent shout out.  I think this year is different.  This year, moms need a day where their families acknowledge all they are doing to maintain some semblance of sanity. (Yes, Dads do too, I fully get that, and Dads' Day is coming...)  If you are a mom, or have a mom, or know a mom... take a little time this weekend.  Help the moms in your life to hear how loved, valued, and appreciated they are.  Finally, if you are a mom, I beg of you to please try to be mindful of the gift of time that we have been given.  I know it doesn't always feel like a gift.  It is a gift.  Even in those most challenging moments, there truly is no greater blessing than extra time with loved ones. 

Take care of you.