You get to Decide

 

I've been thinking a lot about intentionality lately, what with the state of the world, and all.  I really started thinking about it because of my recent emotional reactions to social media.  It could definitely be argued that social media is more trouble than it's worth... but somehow, it's become an integral part of our social lives, especially through the COVID and quarantine days.  I'm reminded daily that I could live without all the drama, but to be honest, I do enjoy staying in touch with far away friends and family, I enjoy exposure to articles and information that I might not otherwise see, I enjoy hearing other peoples' points of view - mostly.  

We've all heard that psychological research has concluded a connection between social media use and increased depression, as well as other mental health disorders.  I think it's pretty much accepted that when we are watching others' highlight reels, we can tend to feel worse about our own lives. When we see the responses of our friends to certain posts, we might learn things about them that we didn't want to know, thus totally changing our feelings towards them. Sometimes we are personally hurt or offended by posts that others direct at us.  Social media was created to help us to feel more connected, but sometimes we can end up feeling quite the opposite.  This can be tricky when we are already isolated because of the mitigation efforts. 

I've been struggling with what the answer might be, but I have finally decided.  In order to keep at bay the negative influence that social media can have on my emotional well-being, I must be intentional about what I allow into my brain.  This doesn't always feel right... unfriending people, blocking them, hiding my posts, disabling comments... it feels like "cancel culture" - getting rid of something just because we don't like it.  No, I've decided that the "cancel culture" accusation is nothing more than gaslighting.  It's shaming someone for taking steps to take care of their mental health.  Not OK.  I get to decide what other people see from my page; I get to decide what I see, what I read and absorb, and what I do with it.  Choosing what I allow to infiltrate my mind is not cancel culture, it's self preservation. 

Here's where this all gets a little more involved.  Taking control of your social media account becomes a metaphor for your actual life.  You can take control of your mental health - the same way that you can take control of your physical health, your social life, or your career.  You do it by being intentional;  by deciding what you put out there for others to see, and by deciding what you allow in to your life.  I remember starting to figure this out in my twenties... I had a few different friends from different walks of life, and I would very consciously choose the person I talked to based on the kind of feedback that I wanted to receive. It's not at all complicated, but it is the key to getting mentally healthy. Therapy doesn't just work.  You have to do the work it takes to make it work.

Being intentional means that you take time to get outside on a sunny day in the middle of a gloomy winter; that you call a certain friend because you know her sense of humor will help lift your spirits; that you skip over the sad song on the playlist; that you get up fifteen minutes earlier so that you don't get frazzled by rushing; that you turn off the news when you feel the anxiety rise in your chest. 

It's true, you can decide to get better.  When you know how you want your life to be, and you make intentional decisions, you will be able to walk the path that you have forged for yourself.

Easy?  Not so much, but it gets easier with practice... because when you practice this form of self care, it just becomes what you do. 

Be intentional.  Make the choice.  Find your way. 

Take care of you 💖