My brain is a jumble and I had no idea what I was going to write about today until I saw this tweet. And, honestly, I still have no idea what I'm going to write about so we'll just see how it goes.
So, yeah, this grabbed my attention. I'd been thinking of heading in this direction, but really didn't want to be a downer. And I didn't want to make peoples' eyes spontaneously roll by talking about the hard times, and the mental health, and the importance of self-love and self-care, and the inevitable conclusion of "find the positive." Because, not everyone is in the same place right now, and that's obvious with all the dissension in the media and social media. In fact, you have to admit that social media is a bit of a cesspool right now. It's practically impossible to post anything other than puppies and kittens without igniting a firestorm of conflicting, and often, nasty and inexcusable comments (and I've even seen those on puppy posts). As a result, I've pretty much stopped posting anything other than my own puppies and kittens. BUT... I can only speak from where I am. And I'm with Human Mel.
One of the first conversations of my day, today, began with my own comment, "I don't know about you, but I'm just craving sleep lately. Just craving it. Like, I wake up planning the next nap." Craving sleep is always a bit of a bad sign for me. Where making sure you get good rest is a positive coping skill, napping is my way of opting out of life. As a college freshman, I napped for hours every day, avoiding the stress and loneliness of being a college freshman. After my confession, my running buddy and I had a discussion. We're closing in on a year since we first got sent home from school and went in to lockdown "for the next two weeks." We agreed that there is a real emotional heaviness to approaching that one year anniversary. Following the events of
March 13th, we were hopeful to be back to school after Easter... able to travel in the summer.... back to school in the Fall. But then, we can't have fall sports... face-to-face school - back to virtual - back to face-to-face...no football season... yes football season... trick or treat is not safe... don't gather for Thanksgiving [everyone gathers for Thanksgiving]... COVID cases surge... lockdown for Christmas and New Year... vaccines are here [YAAAYYYYYY!!!]... you can't have yours yet.... there's a delay in vaccine distribution...[NOOOOOOOOO!...)... we might see some normalcy by...
Case numbers surge... death numbers soar... people we know... people we love...
We want our health back. We want our lives back.
In the meantime, I really just want to go to sleep.
Yep, mental health issues are at an all time high. In the last few weeks, kids have been trickling down to my office:
"My dad got really mad this weekend and started throwing things."
"My parents got in a huge fight and I was scared."
"My step-mom gets mad at me for literally nothing."
If those comments are not enough to make you realize that people are coming apart at the seams, I don't know how you'll be convinced.
My own mother, soon to be 88 years young, lives alone... She has always lived a very active life, and has always been very involved with various social and activity groups, and the YMCA. All of this has been put on hold for 11 months now. Her life has become her chair, her books, her cat (all creds to that cat), her daily walk, and her frequent dates with "Amanpour and Company." Thank goodness, she loves all of that, and she doesn't get lonely, but a couple of weeks ago, she asked me, "If someone asks me how I am mentally, what should I tell them?" I replied, "Well, no one is going to ask you, but if they do, tell them you're completely crazy just like everyone else." And I wasn't joking.
So, what's my point? I guess I'm thinking that if you're feeling pretty crazy... or anxious, depressed, fearful, or even just slightly off kilter... I just want to remind, or reassure you that you are in good company. Maybe, like many of the respondents to Human Mel's tweet, you will feel some relief in that simple fact. You are not alone. However, it's really not enough to just feel relief. We have to get back to being intentional - being deliberate about our own healing, recovery, happiness... however you choose to frame it. All this means is that maybe, as I do, you get out of the habit of actively taking care of your own mental health. You're doing well, so you let it go for a while. And then it catches up to you again. So, we have to reincorporate self-care into our schedule. It doesn't mean
finding the time, it means
making the time.
To get personal, here's what that means for me: I force myself out of bed to run, even when I really want to stay in that warm bed, because I know that I feel hundreds times worse when I don't go. I choose to disengage from media - and social media - opting to read, do crossword puzzles, or just talk and hang out with the people in my house. I get out the headphones and open the meditation app instead of just cruising through my phone before I fall asleep. I force myself to drink plain water, even though I hate it. I keep a lid on the clutter - not that I'm a great housekeeper, but the living space is comfy and cozy, which is just what our souls need right now. Comfort. Physical, emotional, and spiritual comfort.
As ever, nothing earth shattering, here. Just an acknowledgement that I see you. And I know, I understand how overwhelmed some of you are, even though you are not showing it. Even though you might not even be consciously aware of it.
Check in on yourself. Check in on your people. And when they check in on you, let them.
Take care of them. Take care of you. 💖
Books! You can still post about books! As always, you've provided wise and thoughtful words and are the keenest observer of life. Personally, I don't remember the last time I had a nap, so I can't relate to that escape. My motto seems to be "escape later," but "later" is an elusive thing and never seems to materialize. I'll plan to think about that next week. Write on, my friend. Write on.
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