My View from the Top of the World

  Mum often calls me with concern in her voice, over one thing or another.  I'll spend some time chatting with her and we will end our conversation by repeating to each other, "all is well."  These three little words have become words of comfort to Mum and me, since the poem of the same name, by Henry Scott-Holland, was shared with me after my father's death.  The end of the poem says,  Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? I am but waiting for you, for an interval,  Somewhere very near,  Just around the corner,  All is Well For Mum and me, these words are a comforting reminder that Dad is here, still a part of our lives, and that all is completely well.  These words, have become something of a mantra when we are maneuvering through life's challenges.  Gamma - so many of us know her as Gamma - has dementia.  We've seen it coming for a while, and it was recently made official.  The diagnosis, in my mind, changes...

This could be long, it could be short.  I'm not really sure what I'm doing, and I'm not really sure where I'm going with this.  For the last several months, I've not been writing regularly, and I've not been writing for myself or from my heart... I've been writing (or not writing) with the needs of others in mind. There's a very specific reason for this, and the reason isn't pretty, and it's not self nurturing.  I won't go into it further than that, but I just want you to know that even when something shitty happens, it's an opportunity to look inside, dig deep, and decide what you want out of a situation.  I'm not trying to be overly positive or Pollyanna-ish (just one of my toxic traits), I'm just being real.  I get a kick out of figuring things out and making things better.  For myself.  I get a kick out of helping myself back up the mountain after spending some time at the bottom.  But, writing is fun for me.  And it's goo...

The impact that the COVID 19 pandemic has had on our mental health has been discussed at length, in multiple formats and forums, since March of 2020.  For sure, the detrimental effects of quarantines and school closures are still being felt by our kids.  Our family and social lives have been turned upside down... we are finding our way back, but nothing feels the same.  This leaves our kids feeling a little lost, and lacking the sense of security and safety that they used to feel in their lives. Diagnoses of mental health disorders are at an all time high, as are, tragically, deaths by suicide.     To this end, our schools are attempting to help out and support students by doing regular emotional "check-ins" and incorporating social-emotional learning into their curricula. I'm very fortunate to be able to spend considerable time in our classrooms, "teaching" our students about emotional wellness.  This year, my focus is on helping them learn to accurat...

  When I was a child, I had this lovely fantasy of being able to hibernate.  I imagined myself in a quiet, underground cave, snoozing next to an open fire, and surrounded by books. I could lay low for the winter months, snooze, eat, read, repeat.  I could bide my time simply, and enjoy the coziness of the season. (I think my mind's image was profoundly inspired by Beatrix Potter's Tale of Mrs. Tittlemouse...) Little did I know that there is a term for this inclination to get quiet and cozy, and to appreciate and savor the simplicity of warm, intimate settings and interactions.  The actual word, "Hygge," has no direct English translation. The term, concept, or way of life (however you interpret is up to you) hails from Denmark, and originates from a need to cope, physically, spiritually, and emotionally with the long, cold, dark winter months.   "Hygge refers to finding comfort, pleasure, and warmth in simple, soothing things such as a cozy atmosphere or the...

  Some time ago, a friend posted this quote to social media, and it immediately struck me as something I needed to think about.  It's undeniable that I have some clutter lying around.  I mean, if you've been in my garage, or looked at my kitchen table lately, then you certainly know this.  I do have some emotional difficulty getting rid of stuff, but after considerable contemplation, my accumulated clutter is not made up of stuff alone. With some focused energy, I could easily do a sweep of the house and get rid of all the physical unnecessaries; the stack of junk mail waiting to be looked at by the addressee, the used water bottles waiting for the opportunity to be re-used, Meg's "thank you note station" that's still on the kitchen table even though she's been moved out for three weeks.  It's the NON-physical clutter that causes me difficulty.   Non-physical clutter, social-emotional clutter, if you will, is as restricting, if not more so, than the ju...

I guess you could say that I'm famous for supersizing my hikes.  You might also say that I have a tendency to underestimate distances.  Either way, the result is a longer hike than anyone expects... unless you've come to expect it, which - at least - my family has.   I just can't leave well enough alone. One of the problems is that I have long been rewarded, in various ways, for doing more... rounding up the mile... taking in the extra vista...scrambling up the rocks... or, "let's just go to the top of the hill and see..." Recently, we were camping at a state park in Adams County, Pennsylvania.  It's always fun to find new runs in new areas, and I'll usually try to find a route that is quiet and as traffic free as possible.  This particular week, I discovered a trail.  It was just over a mile up a steep hill to the trail. The trail was generally flat, and came out, two miles later, on a gravel road.  With the steep hill, an out and back would have...

The summer before my oldest left for college was filled with excitement and high expectation.  He was so ready... he had done well in high school and had initiated the college application process by himself.  He knew what he wanted to do and couldn't wait to wave goodbye to his small hometown to head to the city.  The World was his oyster!  I was so excited for him that I didn't even cry when I dropped him off... just took him out to Primanti's and headed back up the mountain.  My day of reckoning came over Halloween weekend of that first semester.  I had the brilliant idea to take the girls to see a college women's soccer game and to hang out with their brother.  He told me he had plans, and I non-chalantly told him that was fine, it wouldn't bother me. It bothered me.   That weekend I had to face the reality that my kid was grown, had his own life, and I really didn't belong in the middle of it anymore.  Let me tell you, there was a gr...