The Most Wonderful Time of the Year... Is it, Though...?

I've struggled with what I wanted to say this week.  How to write about the holidays, keep it positive, without being trite... how to say something meaningful without taking for granted that everyone loves this time of year?  To be honest, I was totally over the "what are you thankful for?" question, and only put it on my chalkboard door, well, because it's basically what's expected for us to ask kids as we send them home for Thanksgiving break.  I was over it, that is, until the first kid gleefully added his blessings to my door - and then he became my first blessing of the day...

Carter is thankful for "the sun and happy people," Parker for Mr. M. (Mr. M. becomes a tail-less mouse, mainly because his head didn't turn out to be the right shape!). Corbin is thankful for his life, and Anthony for dinosaurs. So far today, I am thankful for Carter, for Parker, Corbin and Anthony, their smiles, and for Emma, the Angel - Barista at a coffee shop in Montross, Virginia, who helped my mother get her G-Maps sorted out for her long journey to Pennsylvania.

But as everyone knows, it's not always easy to be thankful.  Expectations are set so high for the holidays.  Expectations of happy family time, amazing food, cozy, relaxing moments, fun shopping trips... and along with those high expectations come high levels of stress. We have to put up with a certain difficult family member, what if the turkey is dry? Relaxing is replaced by preparing and cleaning up, money woes lace the shopping day with anxiety... And when the hallmark moments become disappointments, we just end up feeling let down, sad, and possibly frustrated or angry. 

So, how do we make the holidays all they're cracked up to be?  I've found that the key is to drop any expectation that someone else is going to make the holiday perfect (or terrible, for that matter) for me.  My Thanksgiving is as wonderful as I make it for myself.  Years ago, some years after I joined the McGonnell family, I had an epiphany.  I realized that 30-40 people in one house for dinner was too much for me - too crowded, too loud, not enough couch space! I could manage perfectly for a few hours, but as the day went on, I would become tired, stressed, anxious, and (sorry, fam) annoyed.  Way too many years after that epiphany, I started a little tradition for myself as I was preparing the house for the Big Day.  I would clean my bedroom, wash the bed clothes, add candles and a stocked cooler - in preparation for allowing myself to step away from the 'chaos' and take a few quiet moments with a beverage or special culinary treat.  Guess how many times I've had to use my 'serenity space'?  Very few!  Just knowing that the space was there, and that I could take a voluntary time - out if I needed to, was enough to ease me through the day.  I could collapse, later, by the fire and savor a serving of pumpkin roll!

As always, you can't pour from an empty cup.  Put your own oxygen mask on first.  In order to plan for an enjoyable holiday, we must pave the way for ourselves to ensure that enjoyment.  Do you need to make a certain recipe your own way?  Reserve yourself a seat at the table? Take a short walk to get some fresh air? Ask someone else to take care of a specific chore? Do it!  Plan for success!

And, for anyone in my amazing family who may be reading this - I've come to love Thanksgiving Day for all that it is and more!  More than the day, though, I love you all, and everything you bring to our table. 

Take care of you!