Today, I have nothing to worry about...
For months, I started my day with that simple statement. I journaled about that statement every day. It was more to convince myself than a statement of fact... but we know that if "we tell ourselves something enough times, we start to believe it" (quote stolen from Vivian Ward ~ Pretty Woman).
In truth, I have lost years of my life - literally - to worrying. Without question, excessive worrying has affected my quality of life, and the quality of my relationships. Frankly, I believe that the greatest success of my life - other than raising some quality humans - has been to overcome the burden of worry and anxiety. No salary, achievement, or fabulous job title could be better than waking up happy, truly enjoying time spent with my loved ones, and being able to find joy (I'm not exaggerating) in each day.
As a contributor to, or perhaps a symptom of anxiety, worry is about a lack of control. We worry about things that might happen, and how to prevent them from happening. We worry about things that might not happen, and how to make sure that they do. At my worst, I would wake up in the morning and immediately search my brain for the worry of the day. When my kids moved out, things got worse. Now, they weren't under my watchful eye, so worrying became my parenting style. I felt that if I wasn't worrying about something, obsessing, double checking, I wasn't doing my job.
Over the years, how many of my worries came to fruition.? Very few. Those that did, as it turned out, were fixable, or at least manageable. The consequences of worrying, however, were not improved ability to manage difficulties (we tend to think that worrying will help us be more prepared when the bad things happen), but a vast array of emotional and physical problems: insomnia, aches and pains, decreased focus and concentration, fatigue, irritability, anxiety and depression, panic attacks, and difficulty making decisions. Other related physical problems caused by worry are high blood pressure, heart arythmias, migraines, and gastrointestinal issues.
So, yeah, we need to stop worrying. But it's not as easy as that is it? I mean, it is and it isn't. The solution is thought control. Only I can do this for myself; only I can control my thoughts. Which is why I started it all with, "today I have nothing to worry about." We've all heard about the gratitude habit, right? If we habitually recognize several things for which we are grateful each evening for two months, we experience increased feelings of general happiness and life satisfaction (Harvard University). It makes sense, then, that we can (with tons of self discipline)
make a conscious committment to stop, or at least to decrease, our worrying.
Like self - care, breaking your worry habit is unique to you; you do what works for you. The key is to keenly focus on today, not on what might or might not happen in the future. For me, the trick is mindfulness and relaxation - focusing on everything that I do so that my mind is fully on the now, and taking the time to soothe my mind... taking nature pictures while I'm out for my run helps me to focus and take note of my surroundings, listening to music while I'm working out or doing house chores. And when the worrisome thoughts are trying to break through, I
make the decision to send them packing by replacing them with positive messages.
Easy? No. Worth it? Definitely. And like anything worthwhile, it takes some practice and a bunch of effort. And like any self-improvement project, there's no way you'll regret the energy spent.
You can't pour from an empty cup. Take care of you.
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