My Grown Up Christmas List

Music has always been healing for me.  For as long as I can remember, I've turned to song lyrics to help me to cope, to celebrate, and to remember.  Most of all, I'm connected to some very important people through music, songs, and artists.  At this time of year, I'm listening to a little Christmas music.  There are certain songs that I turn to every year, simply because of the emotional connection that I have to those particular lyrics.  One of these is Grown Up Christmas List (but it's only good when Amy Grant sings it).  The lyrics reflect an adult's musings on what she would really like for Christmas, and of course, it's nothing that could be wrapped and put beneath a tree...

I think most of us would repeat many of these sentiments if you asked us what we would wish for a world in need.  There's nothing more profound that I can offer in that category.  I did sit down for a while, though, to consider what wishes might go on my personal grown-up Christmas list...

I would wish...

...For peace in my own heart.

I've been working on this for a long time now, and I'm getting there. I'm learning that to be at peace means to be accepting of my circumstances, to be mindful of my blessings, and to focus on living today, rather than ruminating on yesterday or tomorrow. It's really a mindset change and it's difficult! Here's what my peaceful heart will be celebrating this year: a friendship with my husband that allows for a happy, comfortable, easy home life; that my children are all happy, healthy, and finding their way; that I have the time and the means to support my Mum as she has always supported me; that I have true friends, and that I am able to give friendship to others; that I have a job that I love, and a sense of purpose through that job, as well as through many other life roles that I play; that, when I'm not feeling peaceful, I know what to do and where to go to find peace.

...For my mother to be at our home for Christmas.

This is not as easy as it used to be. At eighty-six, as amazing as she is, she is just not finding a drive from VA to PA to be manageable anymore. She doesn't want to put anyone out, or have us go to any trouble. She says that she'll be perfectly happy staying at home with Reecie, her cat. Maybe she would be. But, I won't. So, we will drive on down and bring her back home, and Reecie will come too. We'll make it fun. I'll force a stop in Berkeley Springs, where I love to poke around in some of the little stores. We'll spend the night at her house, where the back porch is one of our happy places, and where the six mile round trip to the boat yard is one of my happy runs.

...For adventures with my kids.

This is truly where it's at for me. Time spent traveling and adventuring with my kids is my best time. There's nothing like crossing adventures off the bucket list... beach trips, mountain summits, historical destinations, natural wonders, concerts, sports events, restaurants - even the Harry Potter Studio Tour. If someone mentions something that they would like to do or see, we really try to make it happen. When we think back and remember holidays past, we usually start with, "remember that time when we..." rather than, "remember that thing I got?" (Even our disastrous journey to England in December, 2016 is now a source of smiles and funny memories.) (And it was only the journey that was disastrous, not the visit!)

...For time to rest and experience the serenity of the Season.

I remember Christmas the year I was ten. The tree stood in the window in our front living room. One evening, while the rest of the family watched TV in the family room, I sat by myself near the tree, the room was lit only by the tree lights. That was the first time that I really took the time to sit in silence and feel the stillness of Christmas. I try to do the same each year. I take time - usually in the wee hours of the morning before anyone else is awake - to sit in the darkened family room with only the tree lights on, to contemplate the meaning that I find in the day, and to savor the serenity. After the chaos of weeks of preparation, this is when I can finally feel like it's Christmas.

(As I look this over, I notice that my grown-up Christmas list includes gifts for my emotional, physical, and spiritual self!)

What makes Christmas feel like Christmas for you? Whatever it is, do it! Don't wear yourself down making the holiday perfect for everyone else, and then collapse when it's all over, wondering why you're not feeling the spirit! If someone asks you what you want, tell them! Don't expect people to read your mind, be specific about what your soul needs. You can't pour from an empty Christmas mug... take care of you!