My View from the Top of the World

New beginnings...  I love the whole idea of the New Year.  I've always enjoyed looking back at the year that has gone by - top songs, best movies, most impactful news stories...  There's a wistful and emotional me, who looks back with fondness as well as sadness at the passing of time.  Then there's the optimistic and hopeful me, who looks forward with anticipation and excitement towards all the experiences that lie before me. I gave up on the idea of New Year's Resolutions years ago - I never stuck to them anyways. Instead, I spend some time setting some intentions for the year ahead. It's generally the same story: to work to become a better human and to live a happier and more purposeful life. For right now, I'll turn to some song lyrics to express some of my thoughts about the upcoming new year. We hear so much, these days, about how divided we are, as a world, a nation, a community. Sadly, it feels true, but it doesn't have to be. We are...

People always ask if we're ready for Christmas.  Well, I never am, and to be honest, I never worry about it too much.  The Day comes the same time every year, whether I'm ready or not.  And I'll be danged if I'm going to ruin it for myself by getting stressed.  Because.... it's just like Dr. Seuss always said... It comes without packages, boxes or bags, and it's more than that anyways, and we all know it. I enjoy Christmas so much more when I'm not so intent on making it enjoyable!  My thoughts are fairly random today, but yes, they are connected, because they're all about what Christmas has come to mean to me... I've been thinking about this a lot lately. People ARE nicer - kinder, more generous, more loving and forgiving - at Christmas time.  I mean, it's great, but it's also sad.  Why can't we keep that momentum all year long?  Imagine the good we could do if we put our best selves out there every day, and imagine how much b...

Music has always been healing for me.  For as long as I can remember, I've turned to song lyrics to help me to cope, to celebrate, and to remember.  Most of all, I'm connected to some very important people through music, songs, and artists.  At this time of year, I'm listening to a little Christmas music.  There are certain songs that I turn to every year,   simply because of the emotional connection that I have to those particular lyrics.  One of these is Grown Up Christmas List (but it's only good when Amy Grant sings it).  The lyrics reflect an adult's musings on what she would really like for Christmas, and of course, it's nothing that could be wrapped and put beneath a tree... I think most of us would repeat many of these sentiments if you asked us what we would wish for a world in need.  There's nothing more profound that I can offer in that category.  I did sit down for a while, though, to consider what wishes might go on my persona...

Life's moments can seem big, but it's often the little things that help us to get through those moments.  Our family has had some big moments this year, not the least of which being the losses of my amazing father-in-law, Jim McGonnell, his twin, the beautiful Jane Lynch, and our nephew, the courageous Setlar Sykes. The 'firsts' after loss - first birthdays, family get togethers, holidays, anniversaries - can seem insurmountable...  How will we be able to manage Christmas without those who were so central to the celebration? For me, it's recognizing and celebrating the small things that helps me to manage the big things. It's serving a Christmas pudding and custard because I served it every year for my dad.  It was his favorite.  Most of the time, I'm the only one who eats it, but in my heart, I'm still sharing it with him.   It's Jimmy putting together our stockings every year, including nuts, chocolate, and tiny little bottles, because t...

I've struggled with what I wanted to say this week.  How to write about the holidays, keep it positive, without being trite... how to say something meaningful without taking for granted that everyone loves this time of year?  To be honest, I was totally over the "what are you thankful for?" question, and only put it on my chalkboard door, well, because it's basically what's expected for us to ask kids as we send them home for Thanksgiving break.  I was over it, that is, until the first kid gleefully added his blessings to my door - and then he became my first blessing of the day... Carter is thankful for "the sun and happy people," Parker for Mr. M. (Mr. M. becomes a tail-less mouse, mainly because his head didn't turn out to be the right shape!). Corbin is thankful for his life, and Anthony for dinosaurs. So far today, I am thankful for Carter, for Parker, Corbin and Anthony, their smiles, and for Emma, the Angel - Barista at a coffee shop in Mon...

Today, I have nothing to worry about... For months, I started my day with that simple statement. I journaled about that statement every day. It was more to convince myself than a statement of fact... but we know that if "we tell ourselves something enough times, we start to believe it" (quote stolen from Vivian Ward ~ Pretty Woman). In truth, I have lost years of my life - literally - to worrying. Without question, excessive worrying has affected my quality of life, and the quality of my relationships. Frankly, I believe that the greatest success of my life - other than raising some quality humans - has been to overcome the burden of worry and anxiety. No salary, achievement, or fabulous job title could be better than waking up happy, truly enjoying time spent with my loved ones, and being able to find joy (I'm not exaggerating) in each day. As a contributor to, or perhaps a symptom of anxiety, worry is about a lack of control. We worry about things that might h...

Mr. Rogers was my neighbor.  For three years, I lived in an apartment building not far from the WQED station in Oakland. Fred Rogers' office was housed in that apartment building. We would frequently run into eachother as we were collecting our mail. He had a warm smile and a friendly greeting, as you would expect. Our interactions never went much further than that, but it was a sweet thing, having Mr. Rogers for a neighbor, and looking back, I wish I would have known him better.  This week we celebrated World Kindness Day. WQED promoted #cardigan day to mark their 75th anniversary and to spread kindness while honoring their most renowned personality.  The city of Pittsburgh was all in, even some of the hospitals wrapped their newborns in tiny cardigans to commemorate World Kindness Day and to pay tribute to Pittsburgh's kindest neighbor.  In searching through Fred Rogers quotes, I discovered that he truly had important messages for all of us, not just fo...

There's so much to say today.  Six years ago on Monday, my father suffered a catastrophic stroke.  The stroke happened around 9:30am on Monday, November 4th, 2013.  The night before, I had my last conversation with him.  That conversation was so very normal for a Sunday night.  It was just me and him, as Mum was out and about, he reported with amusement.  On Tuesday, November 5th, 2013, Dad managed really well through PT and OT.  I vividly remember the look he gave us as the therapists insisted he stand up;  it was his last smile.  After therapy, he napped heavily.  He never regained full consciousness.  At 5:45am, on Wednesday November 6th, my dad passed away.  Mum told him that she loved him, but that it was time to go.  I whispered the Lord's Prayer into his ear, and he gently slipped away as we each held one of his hands. And thus began my journey.  For the next several years, I alternated between submis...

A friend of mine did something impressive this week.  He declined a seemingly irresistible offer of doubling his income in favor of maintaining a positive work-life balance.  I wonder how many of us would have that kind of self awareness? - to understand, in the face of an "offer I can't refuse," that I need to refuse it - for the benefit of my health and my family.  Just two generations ago, there was no concept of "work-life" balance as a component of healthy lifestyle; no understanding of the link between stress and wellness; bread-winners have simply been working themselves ragged for decades.  As a result, we have a generation of folks plagued by high blood pressure, heart disease, digestive issues and the highest rate of mental illness diagnoses in history. It seems that millennials,  who are projected to make up 75% of the workforce by 2025 (Kohll: Forbes.com), are making work-life balance a priority.  This generation is now on the lookout for c...