Don't Give Up

 

Much of the inspiration for my writing comes from music and song lyrics.  Knowing that September is National Suicide Prevention Month & National Recovery Month, that this week is National Suicide Prevention Week, and that yesterday was World Suicide Prevention Awareness Day - it was rather fortuitous that this song ~ Don't Give Up, by Peter Gabriel ~ came on while I was running this morning. (Also fortuitous that I hadn't started this entry, because I would have had to start over...)

Got to walk out of here - I can't take any more - Gonna stand on that bridge - Keep my eyes down below - Whatever may come - And whatever may go - That river's flowing...

I've never been suicidal, but I did have one, rather frightening, ah-ha moment.  At the end of one of my darker days, I remember thinking, "I just don't want to live my days like this any more."  Notice the difference:  "I don't want to live like this" vs "I want to die."  When you look at the words, it looks like a subtle difference.  It's not. In real life, the difference is huge.  

However, that moment was life changing for me, because it was the moment I decided to cope.

We simply must normalize mental illness.  Sufferers need to be allowed to shed the burden of shame, and the image of mental illness being weakness, or a dirty secret. We need to accept and understand that it's normal to be broken.  Once we're OK with being broken, we can get to work fixing ourselves. And that is why I've been getting braver about telling people about my own journey. I want to be a walk walker, and not just a talk talker.   

Until we can find that self - acceptance, it's hard to love ourselves, because we don't feel that we deserve it.  But, what do we do when we are sick with a cold or the flu?  We treat ourselves kindly, and with love.  We rest in a nice cozy bed, we feed ourselves good food, and engage in other nurturing behaviors.  Our emotional wellness deserves the same treatment.  

Finding comfort for the mind is often different from finding comfort for the body... but not always.  Comfort, for me, is a soft blanket, at least one furbaby, some music to suit my mood, perhaps the woods or the mountains, and maybe a nap.  You find what soothes your soul, and you use the heck out of it, with no apologies.  

Don't give up - 'Cause you have friends - Don't give up - You're not the only one - Don't give up - No reason to be ashamed - Don't give up - You still have us - Don't give up - We're proud of who you are - Don't give up - You know it's never been easy - Don't give up - 'Cause I believe there's a place - There's a place where we belong...

Connectedness.  Belonging.  We are social animals.  No matter how much of an introvert you believe yourself to be, human beings simply cannot survive without social connections.

When it comes to mental wellness and suicide prevention, we need our people.  It works both ways.  We need people to support us throughout our lives - for better or for worse, if you will.  We also need to be the people who support others.  There is a whole lot of good you can do just by being there and staying with someone through their moment.  Providing unconditional love and support is the single most beneficial thing you can do for a person who is suffering. I can vividly remember the critical moments, and who was present for them.  Those people facilitated my survival.

The self-talk.  We do more damage to ourselves with the self - talk.  Think about it... would you speak to your best friend that way?  Would you put them down and berate them, punish them for their perceived mistakes or weaknesses? I had to reckon with this one, as a counselor. Eventually, I had to commit to speaking to myself with the same consideration and gentleness with which I speak to my students. 

This is a big step, but let me just say this - you don't have to be crazy to go to therapy.  I mean, you can be, but it's not a requirement.  The truth is, that sometimes things get to the point where you just can't put that responsibility on a friend or family member.  I know it, the hardest thing in the world is to make the first appointment. Once that's done, you'll never regret it.  Do it.  Say "YES" to therapy.  And if you've been thinking you need it, but you just haven't rustled up the courage to make the call, I'm here to encourage you to make the call.  Right now.  

Somehow, we've been conned in to believing that the goal is to be happy.  (Idk, maybe it's all the articles and books that have been written about the so-called keys to happiness). No wonder people become despondent. Well, and it doesn't help that social media makes everyone else's life look like a fairy tale.  When we get right down to it, we know better.  Life is hard.  It just is. I'll go so far as to say that sometimes, it just plain old sucks. Life offers us challenge after challenge, often without reward.  It can be exhausting, it can make you want to quit. I don't want you to quit.  Keep going, because there's always something ahead that offers enough joy to keep us going through the next challenge. As you continue to accept the challenges, you begin to realize that even the dark and stormy moments can be stunningly beautiful.  

Don't. Give. Up.  

Please, if things feel hopeless, don't wait.  Reach out to a friend or family member.  Reach out to me.  Or, reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at:

  

800-273-8255

or

suicidepreventionlifeline.org

Take care of you💖