My Farewell to the Sidelines.

I've been watching my kids play sports for almost 20 years. There's a last time for everything, and this week, I sat in the bleachers as a parent for the very last time. My youngest's last volleyball game... They beat the crosstown rivals for the first time ever, in their last game ever. You could say it was the perfect conclusion to the story of a sports mom.  

Between the two of us, Jimmy and I have played all kinds of roles in our kids' sports lives;  Coach, spectator, cheerleader, counselor, team mom, Booster President... I've learned all kinds of things about youth athletics, but the biggest thing of all is that typically, the sport is better for the kid than the kid is for the sport.

To be fair, superstars do emerge from high school teams.  Of course, that's where the pros were bred.  By the numbers, though, only about 7% of high school athletes play in college, and less than 2% play for D1 schools.  As for going pro, the percentage of high school senior athletes that eventually play professionally ranges from 0.015% (baseball) to 0.09% (football).  In other words, you'd better have a "Plan B."

By no means am I suggesting that playing sports is for naught... By far, my own kids have gained far more from participation in sports than I could ever have imagined.  However, what they've gained, is a far cry from what I imagined they would gain when Willie took to the soccer fields at the grand old age of four.  We've all heard it countless times; participation in sports teaches you how to get along with others, the meaning of hard work and commitment, about respecting coaches and teammates, leadership, good sportsmanship.... all good stuff.  

He was in by the way...

Listen, being a student athlete isn't about being the superstar.  It's not about winning.  It's not even about the scholarship.  Very simply, playing in youth sports teaches kids how to be human beings.  Even more important, kids learn more about being human beings from the really bad things that happen, than they ever do from being awesome... when they scored a goal for the other team by kicking it into their own net 😧... when the team had a no-win season 😢... when they got passed over for the starting position 😬... when they were benched "for no reason" 😡... when they didn't get the award, again 😢.  When I say I've played the role of counselor throughout my kids' athletic careers, I'm not remotely kidding.  As the kids lamented about the difficulties and tragedies in their athletic careers, I could (and still can) be heard saying, "yes, it stinks, but those experiences are what have made you the person you are, and you're an excellent person, and I wouldn't want you to be any other way... So I wouldn't want you to not have gone through those times."  Of course, they don't always agree...!

As educators, we learn that it's "about relationships."  We work hard on building relationships with kids, so that excellent learning happens.  It's the same in sports.  It's about relationships;  the friendships and mentorships that are built along the way.  Shared experiences create bonds - especially shared hardships.  When Jimmy gets together with the guys he played with in college, there is no end to the "glory days" talk.  These are the moments that are never forgotten.  

Ultimately, though, what do kids want out of their days in youth sports?  They want to put on the uniform and play.  They're kids with a dream of playing a sport. Simple. What good is being on a championship team if you don't get to play?  

When Willie was young and played baseball, Kenny Rogers released a song.  The Greatest captures the essence of the beauty of being a young athlete: 

"And the ball goes up like the moon so bright, and he swings his bat with all his might, and the world's as still as still can be, and the baseball falls... and that's strike three.  Now it's supper time, and his mama calls, little boy starts home, with his bat and ball...  Says I am The Greatest, that is a fact, but even I didn't know, I could pitch like that." 

(And, no, I can't make it through that song without becoming a puddle on the floor. ) 

In the end, their sports lives are very short.  So, to you mommas who are just starting out on your sports-mom journey, get ready for some late nights, some hard bleachers, week night road trips... get ready to cheer for them, to laugh with them, and to cry with them... pay attention to the big moments, as well as to the tiniest, most beautiful moments... and then, when it's all said and done, and you've watched the last game, sit back, relax, and enjoy those spectacular human beings who will eventually become your very best friends.  

Take Care of Them; Take Care of You. 💖