My View from the Top of the World

I've been watching my kids play sports for almost 20 years. There's a last time for everything, and this week, I sat in the bleachers as a parent for the very last time. My youngest's last volleyball game... They beat the crosstown rivals for the first time ever, in their last game ever. You could say it was the perfect conclusion to the story of a sports mom.   Between the two of us, Jimmy and I have played all kinds of roles in our kids' sports lives;  Coach, spectator, cheerleader, counselor, team mom, Booster President... I've learned all kinds of things about youth athletics, but the biggest thing of all is that typically, the sport is better for the kid than the kid is for the sport. To be fair, superstars do emerge from high school teams.  Of course, that's where the pros were bred.  By the numbers, though, only about 7% of high school athletes play in college, and less than 2% play for D1 schools.  As for going pro, the percentage of hig...

He came to my office for a moment.  He was having a bad morning, and was finding it hard to stay under control.  He had found himself in a spot of trouble. When he entered, he immediately fell prey to the soothing colors and soft furniture in my office.  We talked, 'though he never once made eye contact.  He told me that if he told the truth at home, then they wouldn't be mad at him. He told me how his older sibling blames him and tries to get him in trouble.  He told me that he likes to be with his daddy, and that his mommy is sick a lot.  After some moments of quiet, he tilted his head to one side and asked, "Do mommies really cook?" He came to my office for a moment.  It was a moment that changed my week.   "Be kind to one another, for all of us are fighting a hard battle."  It's probably the quote I see most often shared on social media.  We all get it... but do we live it?    There are a hundred new stories like ...

By Friday, I will have talked to five hundred students about what it's like to come back to school during a global pandemic.  My big take away has been this:  Our younger kids may seem unaffected, but they're not.  They're watching, they're listening, and there are lots of thoughts spinning around in those young minds.  As parents and teachers, it's going to be helpful to have some understanding of these thoughts as more time passes and the pandemic progresses.   Allow me to enlighten you... I decided that I would survey the 4th and 5th graders to get some insight as to how they are feeling about being back to school. It was my intent that the kids be totally honest, so students were not required to include their names on their surveys. Below, I'll share with you the questions, the most common answer, and an answer to ponder. 1.  How I feel about being back at school:     Most common answer:  Happy, excited, don't like the masks.   ...

  I dealt with a situation, recently, that really forced me to stop. And think.  It was one of those moments that could have got the better of me had I allowed it to.  I was actually proud of myself, because, in this instance, I intentionally decided how I was going to frame the problem in my mind.  I decided to make it work in my own favor.   I don't mean to be cagey and vague.  Suffice it to say that I was forced to reckon with an old friend's priorities, and their priority wasn't me.  And, of course, none of it is a simple as it sounds, but when you reach out to reconnect with a human, and they do not appear to want to reconnect, it can send a little shock wave through you, as it did for me.  Once I recovered from the initial shock, I decided to release myself from the guilt I had personally experienced for allowing the friendship to lapse.  And - now this is important - I decided that it was a good thing for me to know where I stand ...

I've written before about some people's words just sticking with me.  I've thought about this concept non-stop since a cousin mentioned it.  She happens to be a cousin who has dealt with more than her fair share of *2020* if you can pick up what I'm laying down, there.  2020 has come with unprecedented tribulation, but, Lord, some people have definitely had it worse than others.   Cousin is a smart and deep thinker, with a unique perspective on life.  Additionally, she frequently, and unabashedly, shares that perspective.  Recently, she announced that she was rather sick and tired of being expected to be happy all the time, or to be positive, or to have a "positive mindset."  When you think about it, there is a ton of pressure to seek happiness and to be positive.  Not without good intent - being positive and happy feels great, and beats almost all of the alternatives, hands down.    But the lists... "The Ten Habits of Happy People,...

  Much of the inspiration for my writing comes from music and song lyrics.  Knowing that September is National Suicide Prevention Month & National Recovery Month, that this week is National Suicide Prevention Week, and that yesterday was World Suicide Prevention Awareness Day - it was rather fortuitous that this song ~ Don't Give Up, by Peter Gabriel ~ came on while I was running this morning. (Also fortuitous that I hadn't started this entry, because I would have had to start over...) Got to walk out of here - I can't take any more - Gonna stand on that bridge - Keep my eyes down below - Whatever may come - And whatever may go - That river's flowing... I've never been suicidal, but I did have one, rather frightening, ah-ha moment.  At the end of one of my darker days, I remember thinking, "I just don't want to live my days like this any more."  Notice the difference:  "I don't want to live like this" vs "I want to die."  Wh...

  Every so often, someone says something to you, and it sticks.  During some of my darker moments, one of my coping strategies has been to collect quotes and memes.  I've got digital albums full of them.  The one above has been particularly helpful when supporting other people, including my kids.  Because it's true, everything is figureoutable , and that's one reason why worry and anxiety are such fruitless occupations of the mind.  Even though, as a family, we have faced some difficult and heartbreaking situations, we've always come out the other side - usually better and stronger for it.  The alternative - not coming out the other side - is unthinkable. So, let's just say, figureoutable stuck with me.    Early into my first year of grad school, the guy I thought I was going to marry broke up with me, seemingly out of the blue.  Devastated, obviously, I spent a couple of days asleep before I simply had to eat!  At the time, I ...